More and more children are living at home these days instead of moving out after high school to pursue higher education or a job. "Today's boomers are spending big money on their kids' tuition, rent, cars, weddings and first-home down payments." Some parents are even paying for cell phone bills, car insurance, groceries, vacations...you name it. How can they afford to do this with retirement looming and perhaps aging parents to take care of as well? And, are they really helping their children learn financial responsibility? When will these children finally be able to support themselves?
This article immediately struck a chord with me because I have more than one friend in this situation. Instead of saving money to retire, my friends are paying hundreds of dollars a month to support their adult children. And to top it off, these same children are making irresponsible choices. Getting a full-arm tattoo instead of worrying about paying the rent or buying groceries when your parents are supporting you just doesn't seem right. So is taking expensive vacations on your parents' dime. Do they really "need" these things?
The article gives advice to parents who find themselves in this situation. "The bottom line is that you shouldn't be eating Kraft dinner every night just so your kid can go to university out of town." Allowing children to live beyond their means, doesn't teach them to manage their money properly. Taking money from your line of credit or credit card, only puts you in greater debt and sends kids the message that it's OK to do this to get something you really want. Wanting and needing are two very different things. Our children deserve to learn this lesson. They need to work hard to achieve their goals and to support themselves. They will feel good about their independence, just as we did in our time.
We need to make responsible and reasonable choices when helping our children. Putting ourselves into debt is not the answer. I have a friend who allows her adult child to live at home. Her child pays a portion of the bills, her car insurance and even some rent. The rent money is deposited in a bank account which will go back to the child when needed for a house, car or school tuition. Many parents are putting money in RESP's which is another good way to help our children with their education.
We need to show our kids that money "doesn't grow on trees" and that it is difficult to make a living, to pay for school or to be out on your own. The sooner they learn these lessons the better for everyone involved.
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